Making peace with imperfection

"The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with each other." - Richard Carlson, PhD. (Author of Don't Sweat The Small Stuff...And it's all small stuff)

I need to tape this quote to the bathroom mirror.  Inner tranquility, peace, being happy and satisfied in our lives...it's what we all want.  And while we think that striving to fix all the things in our life that "need" fixing will lead us to this state of peace within, it is actually the one thing driving us further away from it.  Perfection and peace.  In conflict with each other.  They can't even be in the same room together without giving each other dirty looks.

When Jeremy and I decided last year that we were done having kids, there were a couple days where I struggled with the fact that I would never have another baby.  I knew that I didn't want to go through another pregnancy or birth.  I knew that I wanted a small family so we could do lots of traveling.  I knew two kids was what we could comfortably afford while still maintaining the lifestyle we wanted.  But there was a part of me that wanted what other people had.  That part of me wanted to be a young mom  with lots of young children, who home-schools them and dresses them in adorable clothes and everyone looks at her and wonders "how does she do it?".  I asked myself do I really want another child or do I just want to be that person?  The person I'm not.  After I realized it was only the idea of what I thought was a perfect life that I was clinging to, and not the actual fact that I wanted more kids, I was able to let it go.  I let it go and I am at peace with our decision.  I can enjoy what is, without wanting something more.

Lately I've been struggling also with the imperfections of others.  I've heard myself think, "Why can't they just do things the right way?!  They way I do it!"  I may even have text my friend those exact words on one occasion.  Okay, a couple different occasions.  But, I really do want to love and accept people for who they are in this moment, not who I think they should be.  Silently judging the decisions they make, focusing on the flaws in their personality and criticizing the way the deal with people, including me, is preventing me from achieving this goal.  And not only that, it sabotages my own inner tranquility.  The truth is, it's not even imperfection.  It's just who they are.

If it feels like I've talked about this before, I probably have but it bears repeating.  Love yourself.  Love others.  Accept what is.  It doesn't mean you stop doing your best,  it means you stop obsessing about what's wrong.